Abraham Lincoln held a divided nation together, ended slavery, and gave speeches still remembered today. He’s long been one of my favorite historical figures. His portrait hangs behind me in my office, a daily reminder of leadership grounded in principle, which I find of great value in my domestic litigation practice. A surprising fact: Lincoln died without a will. A probate court had to appoint a friend to handle his estate. For someone known for deep thinking and preparation, this was an unexpected oversight. I lead with not to criticize Lincoln, of course, but rather to provide comfort. Even great leaders overlook some of life’s basic tasks.

If you’re raising a family in Missouri, building a career, or juggling both, estate planning might not feel urgent. Lincoln likely felt the same. But unless you’re busy preserving the Union or preparing speeches that will echo through history, chances are you can sneak in some time for planning. And this post offers a fun way to start, by looking at estate planning through the lens of one of history’s greatest leaders and some of the values he lived by.

 

Lead with Integrity

Lincoln didn’t earn the nickname “Honest Abe” for nothing. As a young store clerk in New Salem, Illinois, he once went out of his way, after hours, to return the right amount of change to a customer he had accidentally shorted. It was a small act, but it left a strong impression. He became known for honesty in everyday life, not just politics. That same sense of doing right by others, or at least others you care about, is a solid starting point for your estate plan.

Start by choosing people you trust to carry out your wishes. These aren’t just names on legal documents. They’re the people you believe will act with the same honesty and care you would. From there, get specific:

Who would you want raising your children if you couldn’t?

Who would manage their inheritance wisely?

If one child needs more support, say so. If everything should be equal, make that clear.

These are legal decisions, yes. But more than that, they are moral decisions, reflections of your values and love. Your plan tells your family not just what to do, but how much you care. And just like Lincoln’s leadership evolved with the needs of his time, your plan should evolve too. Revisit it. Keep it honest. Keep it current.

 

Think Long Term

Lincoln was always thinking ahead. During the war, he started considering how to bring the country back together after it was over. He didn’t wait for the crisis to pass to think about what came next. That kind of forward thinking can help in estate planning too. It’s not just about solving today’s problems. It’s about making choices now that will support your family later.

Thinking long term starts with asking some practical questions. If something happened to you tomorrow, would your family know what to do? Do you have a guardian named for your children? Have you picked someone to manage money for them until they’re ready? Would your spouse be able to access your accounts and keep things running? These are not just legal details, they are steps to protect the people you love. You don’t need to have every answer right now. You just need to start the process.

Estate plans are not a one-time task. As your life evolves, so should your plan. A new child, a career change, a move to another state, or a shift in family dynamics can all impact what your family needs. That’s why it’s important to revisit your estate plan after any major life event to make sure it still matches your current situation and goals.

A meaningful legacy goes beyond assets. It includes the values and memories your family will carry with them. After you’ve named guardians and updated beneficiaries, think about the stories or lessons you want to pass down. A handwritten note, a short video, or a few personal words can help your loved ones remember what mattered most to you. These small touches can be powerful. They make your plan feel personal and lasting. If you’re unsure how to begin, feel free to ask about my process during one of our meetings. I’d be happy to share how I do this for myself and my family!

 

Communicate Clearly In Your Estate Plan… The Same Way Honest Abe Did

Lincoln’s speeches worked because he spoke plainly. A good example is the Gettysburg Address. In just a few short minutes, and under 300 words, he honored fallen soldiers and reframed the purpose of the Civil War using simple, direct language. He avoided legal jargon or lofty rhetoric and spoke in a way people could understand and remember. That same approach helps make estate planning clearer and more effective.

Start by getting clear on what matters most to you. Who would care for your children if something happened to you? Who would manage any money you leave behind until they are old enough? What traditions or values do you want them to remember? Which personal items might one day help them feel close to you?

Once you have a sense of your answers, talk about them. Begin with your spouse or partner. Make sure you both agree on the key choices. Then talk to the people you’ve named as guardians or decision makers. Let them know your hopes and why you chose them. And when your children are old enough to understand, talk to them too. Explain what you’ve planned and why, in a way that matches their age and maturity. These conversations build trust and help them feel included, cared for, and prepared.

Just as your spoken words should be clear, your documents should be easy to understand too. While some legal terms are unavoidable, you should still have a general understanding of everything in your plan. Your attorney should be able to explain each part clearly and simply. If something is confusing, ask. Clarity today makes things easier for the people you care about tomorrow.

 

Stand for Fairness

Lincoln believed in fairness as something lived out in daily choices. As a lawyer, he took on ordinary cases, helping families, settling disputes, and protecting the vulnerable. His work reflected a belief that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity and care.

That same belief should guide your estate planning. When deciding how to distribute what you leave behind, the goal is not just to be orderly but to be thoughtful. Fairness means considering the people you love and the different roles they have played in your life.

For many families, splitting everything equally makes perfect sense. It offers a clear message of unity and helps avoid unnecessary tension. But in other cases, fairness may look different. One child might have greater financial needs. Another may have cared for aging parents. Someone else may have made sacrifices that shaped the whole family. A fair plan reflects those differences without creating division.

Whatever choices you make, explaining your reasoning helps. You do not need to provide every detail, but a simple explanation can ease worries and prevent misunderstandings. It shows your family that your decisions came from care, not favoritism.

Timing also matters. Some help may be needed now, while other support can come later. Thinking not only about what to give, but when, adds another layer of thoughtfulness to your plan.

In the end, fairness comes from understanding. It means taking the time to think about each person and what they may need. The more your plan reflects that understanding, the more it will feel right, not just to you but to the people you care about most.

 

Take Responsibility Now

Lincoln faced more than his share of hardship, but he moved forward anyway. He made decisions in the face of uncertainty and kept going when things were far from perfect. That kind of steady action, even when conditions aren’t ideal, is a useful mindset for estate planning too.

Estate planning is easy to put off. Life is busy, and thinking about what happens after you’re gone can feel uncomfortable or even overwhelming. But waiting often creates more stress, not less. Important questions go unanswered, and the burden can shift to others. Taking responsibility means choosing to start, even if the process feels unfamiliar.

That doesn’t mean solving everything all at once. It just means taking the first step. Start by listing your assets. Think about the people you trust to carry out your wishes. Set a time to meet with an advisor or attorney who can help guide the way.

The earlier you begin, the more choices you have and the more peace of mind you give to the people you care about. Even small steps can make a big difference. What matters most is getting started while the decisions are still yours to make.

 

Adapt as Life Changes

Lincoln’s life was full of change. He faced poverty, personal loss, and political setbacks, but he stayed grounded in what mattered to him and found ways to adapt. That kind of steady adjustment is a helpful mindset when it comes to estate planning.

Your plan should be flexible too. Life changes. Families grow, careers shift, and needs evolve. What worked five years ago might not fit today.

That’s why it’s important to review your plan after major life events. A birth, a move, a job change, or the loss of a loved one can all affect what your family needs. Checking in regularly helps keep everything up to date.

As your children grow, they may be ready for more responsibility. If your finances change, your plan should reflect that too. These updates don’t need to be complicated, but they do need your attention.

Making time to revisit your plan shows your family that you’re thinking ahead and still looking out for them.

 

Leave a Legacy That Lasts

Lincoln is remembered not for what he owned, but for who he was. His values, choices, and the way he lived left a lasting impression. That kind of legacy is not about wealth. It is about the example you set and the values you pass on.

Your estate plan can reflect that same idea. It is not just about money or property. It is also about what mattered most to you, whether that is your faith, your work ethic, your love for learning, or your commitment to family.

Think about what you would want your children or grandchildren to remember. What do you hope they carry forward? It could be as simple as writing a letter, recording a story, or passing down a few words of advice. These personal touches often mean more than anything money can buy. They help your family understand who you were and what you stood for.

When your estate plan includes both practical steps and personal meaning, it becomes more than a set of documents. It becomes a way to show your family how much you cared.

If you are ready to take the next step, I invite you to schedule a consultation with me by clicking below. Together, we can create a plan that protects the people you love and carries forward the values that matter most to you.